Boys Don’t Cry

You can’t ignore your feelings.

Emotions puzzle me. How can something invisible be so real? How can something so mindless be so powerful?

No matter how ‘tough’ or ‘strong’ you like to think you are, your emotions own you, and they will very quickly consume or dictate you, until you learn how to control them, maybe even use them to your advantage.

Many a night, I find myself losing sleep due to relentless thinking or procrastinating. Distressed enough to want to walk a mile to the nearest park where I can lie back and be at one with nature, hoping the wind would take me away, but, never enough to leave my bed and feel the cold, lifeless air surrounding the South of England.

The idea that boys don’t cry has majorly stunted my early development, as it meant that I was never really taught how to recognise or deal with my emotions, I was told to be bulletproof. At the tender age of 18, I still find it hard to deal with my emotions, and, as result, I often find myself in situations that I can’t control and places that I can’t escape. The seemingly perpetual chase for a happy place can make a blind man see, but the encapsulation of one’s emotions can drive a sane man mad.

It’s these ideas and beliefs that have tormented me in the past – this will soon change. I always used the wonder why bad things happen to good people, why the best of us always seem to come from the worst places, and why problems often occur all at once. For many of us, these questions have no answers and simply call for a loss of faith or a negative change in heart. Now, however, I have come to realise that the answer is much more logical than I would have ever known.

Being an engineer isn’t just about mathematics or physics, it’s about being able to solve problems – real problems. This understanding helped me realise that I was given a rough road in order to fix the problems along the way, not complain about them. Bad things happen to people who can handle it; where good people are often good for a cause. They want their actions to mean something and they can’t be stopped, no matter how bad life gets. Problems are meant to be solved, and solutions are meant to be learnt from.

The best of us are the ones who can solve these problems, both their own and other peoples. The best of us can hold their heads up high and say they did it. The best of us can embrace their emotions and persevere through the hard times…

Embrace. Control. Conquer. You don’t learn this when you’re always hiding!

We all go through rough patches in life; you can not ignore your feelings.


Extra Thought:

One should always consider two things before letting the feels get bad.

Is there anything you can do about it?

And…

Will it be this way forever?

If the answer to both of these questions are ‘no’, it’s worth noting that you can probably stop worrying about whatever it is that is bothering you. If you can’t fix or replace something, time will often do it for you.

NB this implies that your issue has an end. If you don’t see a natural conclusion to your problems you should probably seek professional help – the wait for an ending is often the scariest part of any experience and it’s no fun stressing about something that could be an easy fix, bearing in mind you may not see the answer straight away or even at all without help.

 

 

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