Remember that time you got dumped or cheated on, or had your crush fall for some other guy so you got upset and cried or something? Well, it’s time to wipe those tears away, and get back to the good life! We all put a lot of energy into having a great love-life, but what about our great lives?
The video above sums up most of my early thoughts. When making the video, I thought mainly about the affect happiness has on your relationship, but there is actually much more to it than that…
I’ve seen a lot of good friends fall apart within a few weeks of being with a girl for making the same mistake, over and over. For putting her on a pedestal, and putting their relationship in front of their purpose, their goals…
Understand that a woman will choose to be with you because you have direction, ambition and offer growth. You have goals, dreams and a clear path. The whole point of being together in a relationship is to learn together, grow together, take each other on your adventures and journey.
At the end of the day, you control your life. Your successes and failures in life are all determined by you, and unlike your partner, this cannot change. Your general happiness should never rely on your relationship up until the point where you become co-dependent and can’t live without each other – this is insane and very rarely works out well for anyone. Instead, focus on yourself and make sure your life is solid and you have your shit together, financially, mentally and physically.
It’s also good to remember that your relationship is part of your life and not the other way around. As much as it may feel like the other way sometimes, it’s important to remember that you can live without a partner, but you can’t have a partner without a life. As simple as this sounds now, many people base their lives around their relationship, which will prove detrimental if you two ever separate. Obviously, if you have kids together it’s kinda hard to lead separate lives, but it’s still important to have your own stuff going on, as well as you should always try and stay true to you.
You don’t want to be in a position where you meet the love of your life but you’re not good enough to catch them… You’re going to want to be the best version of you as possible for when the one comes, so remember to always focus on you, and don’t cry and complain about the mistakes you make – it looks silly. Learn to acknowledge your mistakes and attempt to fix it, then move on and continue to grow. Bare in mind, focus on self isn’t the same as don’t care about anyone else, narcissism will only making it harder for you to form connections with other people. Imagine you meeting the one for you, but losing her because you’re not yourself… Nobody wants that.
Going back to my first point, in order to be happy in, not just your relationship but life too, you need to get your shit together and you need to be in control of your life. You need to be in a position where if you lose your job you can just say ‘you know what, it’s cool’ and get a new job tomorrow. Be in a position where if your girlfriend leaves just say “calm” and get a new girl. The idea is that if your life is great, to begin with, you don’t even need this girl to be happy, and believe me when I say if your life is that great, you won’t ever have to worry about keeping a girl. Not because your life is great without her, but because she’ll never want to leave.
Similarly, if your life wasn’t great before your relationship, and it isn’t any better after your relationship, then your partner probably wasn’t anything special anyway. As I mentioned above, a relationship is all about growth and development, both as individuals and as a couple. It’s all good and well having a great partner, but it’s meaningless if they don’t bring you up to their level or vice versa. If you’re with someone and you don’t feel like the king of the world, and your life sucks & they’re not making it any better… What are you doing giving them your precious time?
Questions to think about; does your partner make you happy, or do they make you better? Is your life as good as your love-life? Do you really want to be with this person, or do you just not want to be alone?
I don’t have the answer to these questions…
One exam down, three to go… It’s not been the best start of the week for me in terms of academia, but I guess we’re getting there! I won’t be posting again on here for around a week in order to give myself time to work, but you can always check out my YouTube channel and watch some of my recent videos that I haven’t written a blog post about yet!
So, what’s the moral of this story?
Love is the ONLY thing you can’t get for yourself, stop hunting and be ready for when it comes! Whatever your state, focus on self and continue to grow. What use is an awesome love-life that sucks when you’re alone?